Emilys blogs

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2010-04-03T07:24:00.000-07:00

My favourite 'holiday', (summer holidays, easter, christmas) in England has always been Christmas. Probably because you don't offer much competition, when it comes to the summer. I mean, come on. Seriously. I do just love the festive spirit, consumerist and watered down spirit included in that. But if I think about when I used to live in Greece, Easter was such a magical time! As a Greek Orthodox Christian, I can safely say that Easter is the most important religious festival in Greece. It's virtually always on a different weekend to english easter, (aside from this year, waheyy), and as a rule it is -bear with me- always based on the Julian Calendar, as opposed to the Gregorian Calendar. It's ALWAYS on the first Sunday, after the first full moon, AFTER the first day of spring (March 21st, also ma meres birthday).
In Greece, Godparents are taken really seriously and Easter's their main time to shower their godchildren with lovingsss and giftingsss. As well as any presents, traditionally, you receive lambathes (big fat ornate gorgeous candle.. basically)
Tonight, Holy Saturday, everyone would go to Church/stand outside the Church and at one minute to midnight, after the procession, in complete and utter darkness (which is meant to symbolise Jesus's tomb, i believe) the priest lights his candle and passes it around while praying (how cultified does this sound, man). When all the candles of the street are lit, fireworks and music and singing and all that happens whilst everyone walks through the streets of their city!
It was always so beautiful to be a part of, or even watch from the balcony. A gazillion lit candles in utter silence - aside from the bell ringing midnight.

Oh, and every egg in the history of Greece is dyed red, coins are hidden in brioche-type breads, shit loads of chocolate, cakes and a whole lot of lamb... the usual.

I definitely miss those traditions, but heyyy. new traditions!
Erm. Tomorrow Im going to this.. monkey forest thing and holding monkeys.
Theres a religious easter tradition, if i ever did hear one!

Christos Anestis!!

(which is where you'd reply, 'Alithos Anestis', if you were a jebus believer :)

x

Over the Rainbow

2010-01-02T16:58:00.000-08:00

Since the age of about 2 I've been a performer of some sort. I was always slightly less enthusiastic about dancing, but I was still pretty good at it. Especially ballet and street. I got to dance in Disneyland Paris at the parade and on stage because of it, it was awesome. I danced with Goofy, who incidentally turned out to be a 40 year old drunk; the younger children were distraught upon hearing this,(and seeing it, as he took his goofy head off in his trailer and exposed his unshaven old face.)

I've never really done that much acting in pure dramas, its always been in musicals. And I don't just mean glittery jazz hands musicals. One of my most challenging roles was as Chava in Fiddler on the roof. She's one of Tevyes youngest daughters, and she falls in love with a Christian boy. When her dad finds out he fully screams at her and disowns her and breaks her down on stage. I was only about 15, so that was so difficult to do onstage. No music, no dialogue, a spotlight and me crying for what felt like 6 hours ahhaaa. I really enjoyed doing that show at the Birmingham rep. With the same theatre company I was Jasmine in Aladdin. That was the one and only panto I've ever done. SO MUCH FUN! I love all the improv, and how lax it's allowed to be. What else have I been in? I was Bet in Oliver Twist when I was 14, and I was Marty in Grease(thats the pink lady that slags about with lots of boys in the army then writes to them). I was well gutted I didnt get Rizzo, but the Grease stage production, unlike the film, has a really good song for Marty that I ended up falling in love with.
My favourite role ever, in both the theatre company, stage school and school/college performances hassssss to be Dorothy in Wizard of Oz. It was my first (proper) lead role, and I've always been so in love with the film I knew I'd love doing it. To be honest, being the leading lady is boring as fuck. Yeah, there's actually a lot more pressure on the lead than any other character, but Dorothy really has no edge. She's riiiight innocent. But it was still an amazing experience. If, for a second, you forget the fact that I'm writing things with my best friend J to record this year, I really want to focus on musical theatre. Consider it a new years resolution? I've really neglected it the past two years.
You know the BBC's annual competition to find Andrew Lloyd Webbers leading lady? Welllll this year that leading lady is dorothy. I've known about it for a few months and I've checked for audition dates so often but...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dorothy << yeah.

I'm too late! ahahhaa. I cried. I MOURNED. I'm not saying I would've even got past the first stage. But now that I don't know for sure, i'm going to kick myself. Forever. I'm considering just showing up but that will be no use, no doubt. I'm even exhausting my bbc contacts to try and get me an audition but its too soon to tell. When people ask me 'oh, hows your music stuff going?' i wanna say I've tried.
So, 2010: more auditions and more effort.
And more recording own music with J.

PLEASE SHOW ME THIS WHEN I APPEAR TO GET LAZY.
thanks. :)

'change is hard'

2009-09-19T16:21:00.001-07:00

Fairly irrelevant She & Him reference as the song is about a boy, but the words are true maayn, the words are all true.
Just finished packing (with help from my mom and auntie) so I thought I'd write down a few words before i put my life above you again. HARHAR.
I am quite obviously excited. I've always been quite studious and I do partly think thats because of my original upbringing and education in Thessaloniki. We had so many subjects, Greek History, Mythology, Philosophy, Geography, French and then all the bog standard school subjects. I also used to go to English school three nights a week. Yeah.. that sounds a lot for me NOW so nevermind the fact that i was FUCKING FIVE, SIX AND SEVEN. And then moved to Junior school in Birmingham and started learning about the Egyptians. (Awww, remember the Egyptians?! As in, the subject@school. THE TUDORS! VICTORIANS! oh my god, I need to go and fish out my old books)

Anyway, I think I was always looking forward to uni, it was never not an option for me. My mom never pressured me into or out of anything and I really respect her for that, I was really lucky. I always adapt well in new enviroments, I'm never shy or uncomfortable (except at SitC, hiding behind Dave virtually all weekend) and s'all good.
But this is going to be a wee bit weird for me.
My brother is independent and strong. I'd always say I am both of those things, but he moved back to Greece when he was 15. Not so much to go back to dad (or take sides) but he just missed his friends. I was 7. I missed my friends but I needed my mom. So from 16 until now, he's lived on his own. Dad never helped him or supported him, it was the other way round most of the time because dads a musician who spends ANY MONEY on new basses, equipment, computers. So he would be one welllll flashy homeless man.

For that fact, not the homeless statement, when Jason left last week to go London for uni it wasn't hugely emotional for mom. She was happy that he was settled, and felt a little strange because after he travelled the world he stayed here with us for a year and we got used to having him around and I got used to getting beaten up on a regular basis.
But we always learnt to deal with missing Jason. But as sad as this may seem, I do balance myself out between the neighbourhood of friends and all the brum social circles, and my family.
Big fat greek family, man, it scares me a little bit, nevermind the poor unsuspecting new boyfriend back for sunday dinner (we didn't last, obviously).
Me and mum and Eleni, my auntie/bestfriend/sister/but actually auntie are so close. I've seen them slowly heal since my uncle passed away and they've taught me eeeeverything I need to know. Maybe not everything, my grandparents are pretty mentally clever.
Not one day goes by when I don't see my grandparents and aunt and mom, if none of us are away. So this is strange.
Exciting, a littttttle nerve racking, but primarily just strange.

strangey strange. fuck, it's late. I've got to get up so early for us to head down to Southampton.
EEeeeeeek Bonjour new chapter in life!

Love you all, give me a text tomorrow?!

xx

P.s Good luck and have fun to those of you who have moved to uni this weekend.

Skins :)

2009-08-25T08:59:00.001-07:00

Hi, so yeah! (Excellent start, Emily. Pat on the back)

Waking up in london at 5am, getting ready and packing outfits - my idea of fun.
I then got a couple of tubes to hammersmith apollo where I got onto the coach to Bristol. Coinkidink as it may be, a friend from school was going too, so I sat with him and everrrrryone made friends so fast.
We went to this really old school, virtually deserted bowling alley to sign contracts and release forms then walked over to the studio to get changed and go through wardrobe, hair and makeup checks. It was a long 13 hour shift with a lot of waiting in the back but even more waiting on set in the club. It was wellll draining and welllllll exhausting.
I've done a lot of theatre and musical theatre but it was so cool to see all the techie haps of tv. Cameras EVERYWHERE. For someone who subconsciously cups her breasts sometimes, the swarming cameras were fairly unsettling.
Inbetween takes, there'd be the make up ladies coming up to you and reapplying foundation AND THEN SPRAYING WATER OVER IT TO MAKE YOU LOOK SWEATY. wot iz da point, man. i was swetty anywai, yh.

for 13 or so hours, we had to dance 'as if coked off our faces' to Bonkers. Not once did we hear the song all the way through. It's weird how long it took to film a 3 minute scene, i guess, but there was a club full of people with specific instructions every second of the way - so maybe its not so mental that it took so long.

Me and a girl really clicked so we had sex. No. A girl and I clicked and we were together for the whole day really. Turned out she worked for Channel four. This meant I pretty much got access all areas and I fucking loved it. I'm not good at the whole fan girl CAN I HAZ PHOTO WITH YOU thing, so it was good to be sitting with the cast upstairs, and just talking, laughing, messing around. gotzz me a few contacts along the way, so it was awesome. I loved just.. being a friend as opposed to a fan. Having a cigarette with Luke (Freddie) on some random roof and playing 'would you rather', pelvic thrusting with Ollie (JJ), getting ripped to shreds on my brum accent and LOST voice by Jack (cook) and elbowing Lisa (pandora) in the head. That last bit was a mistake because we got overexcited.

This bit, for skins fans: seriously, Freddie is so much hotter in real life but COOK. On tv, he's just a raging chav. In real life, he's a sexy flirty raging chav. Really though, he's barely different to his character, which is a bit frightening. JJ is DEFINITELY the nicest, most fun one to be around and Pandora is mental. The twins are hilarious but they were shattered. Lily Loveless, who plays Naomi, was sulking the whole way through. She had to do her lesbo kiss about eighty times cos of some camera angle mistakes. Da boiz luvd it. I will tell you that there is a new Skins character. Soph. She is virtually identical to Season 1 and 2's, Cassie but a brunette. A lot of the series revolves around her and her shocking.. event? ;)

I loved series 1 and 2 of skins, but as FUCKING HOT as the new cast may be, series 3 was, in all honesty, shocking. Episode one of series 4 suggests that its improving - despite it only lasting for 8 episodes. If you're a psycho fan I'll tell you if you want, but it's more fun left unsaid.

Before I go to bed(at about 5.45 in the afternoon), I would like to say something else. I don't generally do that whole 'oohhh I'm moaning about you in a blog because I don't have the balls to say it to your face' shit. But it did bother me.
I can not WAIT for you to get something you're really excited about in your life that you REALLY want to show off because you're well happy for yourself. Because I'll piss all over it like you did for me.
'I hate skins' - fine. that IS fine. When there isn't an active discussion about Skins happening on twitter, but instead, me saying how stupidly happy I am about where I am, what you're saying isn't necessary. Just shut the fuck up, a little bit? sometimes? I always ignore it when people say twatty/moany/condescending things because internet drama is far too 12 yr old for me. This blog is reee-heeally not supporting that statement, but thats because it is a bit upsetting that you can't let some things go? Obviously just 2 or 3 people fucked me off, the rest of you were lovely.
Skins is a good ol' (but not old) cult classic for teenagers, the teenagers that live up to the 'fun time current music club sexytime' stereotype as opposed to the 'lazy internet' stereotype or the 'i killed 5 men in the ethnic foods aisle of morrisons with a bottle of lambrini' stereotype.
I have decided to stick with it, despite the shocking thing that was series 3. I had sosoososos much fun :)
Can't wait for season five in like, what, 2 years?

emilia x

HEY THURR

2009-08-14T06:07:00.000-07:00

Hello, I'm meant to be getting ready for work, but I am instead watching last nights Big Brother and eating cous cous. Hmm.
I have been SO nervous about the results day ahead. Because of a mega cock up (a la my music teacher) I HIGHLY doubt I'm getting my AAB for university.
University has always been a definite for me, I've always always wanted to go. I love being in education cos I'm a complete geek. This summer without college has felt so long, I can almost hear my braincells fizzle out.

I'm not sure how I'll cope if I don't go to university this year (which will probably be the case) but I guess we'll see in 6 days.
Obviously, not everyone needs/wants university. And I can still go next year, I suppose. But I've been emotionally preparing for September for about 2 years, and I'm going to be a MESS when this all falls down.
But I've always wanted a gap year,I just didn't know whether to put it before uni or after.
I could just work my arse off for half a year and go all around for the other half.

Hmm..
Writing it down has just made it better for me. Okay. Thanks brick wall.
x

a lack of colour

2009-08-06T13:54:00.000-07:00

hopefully this won't actually be too blue, though it's going to be filled with beautiful death-related stories.
As those of you who are remotely important (I joke) will already know, my famzz been in mourning for almost two years now over my Uncle Georgieeee who passed away December 07. I think it's really interesting, in an admittedly morbid way, how people cope with death. Everyone from Milton keynes, cambridge, northampton, cyprus and greece would come and sit in the living room with us. Virtually in silence. Just being with us, occasionally trying to feed us something or remind us to take a shower. And I like the way family and friends just do that, take a couple of weeks off work and stay in birmingham just so they could be there if we needed someone to stare into space with. Even my dad phoned my mom to talk to her: THIS IS SAYING SOMETHING. When Jason (who was in greece at the time) told dad that Georgie passed away, he was gutted because they used to be close in the hey day that was the successful marriage of my parents. So he phoned mom and ignored the fact that she didn't like him and just spoke about George.
In the room, I'd be the one looking at everyone else grieving. It was so weird, I was so exhausted and everything was so surreal that trying to think back to it is a little difficult. I BLOODY HATE when people say 'outer body experience' but its the only way to really describe it. I didn't feel like I was living for about 3 months. My boyfriend at the time was too busy noticing I was cancelling on him too much, to actually care. He loved me a lot, but he didn't care very well. He's insignificant in life, lets forget that bit of the story :D
I sang at the funeral, whilst he was being buried, with an acoustic guitar, and it made me feel good to express my pain without crying infront of people. Unless its my mom, auntie, nan, best friend or boyfriend, I can't cry infront of people. MAKES ME WEAK, AND I AM A WARRIOR SO THAT'S NOT VERY GOOD IS IT?
It's a bit frightening to think, but I reckon its still not sunk in, for me. I try to go to the cemetery as little as possible because seeing his name written down all officially is a bit strange.
http://www.lastingtribute.co.uk/tribute/murphy/3112609 This is all about the boy in my year that I keep going on about. It's sad. His memorial was today, the whole neighbourhood was swarming with boys and girls and men and women in black walking to the shop, the pub, someones house, getting ready for the memorial or wake. Swarming. Endless amounts of cars driving to the cemetery. Huge flower presentations and flags and villa coloured 'Brother' written across the side of the coffin, which reminds me, they took the coffin past the Villa grounds too.
This is me cutting the story short and leaving it as a healthy get-it-out-before-you-blow-up-with-grief blog:
DEATH SUCKS
X

Patrick Wolf

2009-06-01T07:01:00.000-07:00

I was originally going to post a blog about the binge, but you can hear about that off everyone else. It WAS magical and extra fun and I love everybody.

I was walking around Glasgow Central, slightly bitter about the fact that everybody else was still in bed and preparing for a fun sunny BBQ at Sineads whilst I was going to be travelling home. I sat down in the little.. bit people sit down at infront of the screens with the platform info, waiting for my train to arrive at a platform.
Directly opposite, a guy sits down and another guy stands by him, sorting luggage out. He had this strangely familiar tattoo on his calf which I creepily recognised. Only after about 30 seconds of pondering over his calf did I consider it a good idea to look at the rest of him.
He sat down next to the guy he was with.
'Fuck me, he looks like Patrick wolf SO much'
I was definite it WASN'T him though. Why, I hear you ask?
Here is a list of celebrities I've been adamant I've met:
David Tennant
Dawn French
Christina Aguilera
Chris Evans
Chad Michael Murray
Mike Skinner
and Kate Nash.

I've not met any of them. But I'm one of those twats who thinks someone is someone else.I generally need a grounded person to tell me to shut the fuck up.

After a while, I decided it was definitely him and walked up to him.
'Are you fucking joking me?' were my first words. So after a few moments of laughter we sat down, spoke a bit, took some photos and took the piss out of a lady who thought I had left a bag in my original seat because there was a bomb inside.
Once the train arrived, me, Patrick and William went straight toward it and hugged goodbye cos we'd be in different seats.

I sat down in my seat in Coach B.
Patrick and his friend came and sat next to me because they were their booked seats.
What the fuck.
They had to get off at Lancaster so after a couple of hours I had to say bye.
But he promised he'd see me soon. Which was weird/magical.
Story told. Now lets review.

the ONE TIME I go to Glasgow.
the SAME train as eachother.
the SAME ROUTE as eachother.
The same COACH as eachother and the same fucking SEATS AS EACHOTHER.
He was only in Birmingham this time last week!

If someone asked me who I wanted to speak to the most, Patrick Wolf would probably hit second underneath Ben Gibbard.
(Who, funnily enough, was in the queue infront of me in Borders in the Bullring when he was playing at the academy. I didn't believe myself because I always do this but after confirmation from my friend, I pissed myself. Didn't speak to him though. Twat)

He's so lovely. And so in love with his boyfriend it was mental.
Best day ever.

(Considering I was on a KARAOKE BUS the night before, that is saying something)

http://dailybooth.com/emiliatsontilis/412987

:) I'm flyingggggg

xxx

Here goes

2009-05-21T14:29:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, after English and Music, my last two lessons, I'll have a leavers assembly with photos, an emotional film of us all and some fun pub times. Some of the people at the sixth form, I've known since.. I moved to England! Since I was seven. EMOTIONAL TIMES. But, you fucktards, not really. Because we're not fucking off until late september, after a fair amount of gruelling exams.

Tomorrow night is prom too.
I'm a little weary of all this. Finishing so soon. I can't believe I'm here. When I was 14 I used to look up at the eighteen year olds and think 'well, once I'm at their age I can do anything i want ever'.
I still feel fourteen, a bit. Yeah I'm, realistically, quite mature for my age and have gone through lots of stuff. BUT BEING RESPONSIBLE AND DOING WORK WITHOUT BEING TOLD TO FOR ANOTHER FOUR OR SO YEARS?!

No, no. I joke. Probably. Everythings gone wrong today anyway. My half exboyfriend is in hospital with severe appendicitis, aswell. That's never good!! I'll go and give him some attention tomorrow, before prom. Serves him right for being turkish, anyway.

I need to sort some placements out, my moms close friend works at BBH which is probably the best connection in the history of ever. (Lynx adverts, barclays, Audi, Vodafone, Levis Straus, and British Airways... i can only remember the samuel l jackson barclays one though)

One of these days, a blog post of mine will make sense and be focused on one topic.

xx

P.S I'm starting the e.p recording this summer with my beautiful best man, J.
I can't wait at all.

Things you NEED to know

2009-05-12T15:22:00.000-07:00

I lied. But here's a list of things most of you won't know about me.

>I am shockingly addicted to Red bull. I'm talking verge of Emergency room for my 16 in one night legend. :/
>I have 3 year old twin half brother and sister somewhere in greece living with my dad and his lady thing.
>In greece when i was a toddler, my mom put me and my brother in the bath together. I pooed in the bath. Jason is scarred for life. My mom didn't help me out of the bath. She got a video camera and pissed herself laughing instead.
>I get sensitive about racism and general stupidwankeritis.
>I love when people ask me for advice.
>I don't like it when people arent looking at your eyes when they speak to you. As in, they're looking somewhere else on your face. What the fuck are you doing? look at me you prick.
> I eat lemons like you eat apples
>I don't have tonsils, boy.
>I get people to fall in love with me and then I get bored of my new toy, so to speak. Bitch.
>fully sensitive about animals/roadkill. I cry really easily about anything related to them.
>Speaking of crying, all my tears are angry tears. Whenever I'm upset I just go silent.
>I have a comfort blanket but really it's just a string. I used to suck my thumb til I was 13 :)
>Shocking fear of collarbones, mould and wasps.
>I always have sick imaginitive thoughts of people coming to kill me when I'm home alone and end up needing to phone someone (enter Music From Blue Skies)
> As with my nan who passed it to two of her children (my mum and my late uncle), I could have Alports Syndrome. Theres nothing you can do about it though, so I don't want the test. its 50/50 your children have it if you do, basically. I'm considering living in the sunny 50%. That'd be cool, 'cause then the illness would end with me and no one would have to go through what George did. (GRIMGRIMGRIMGRIMGRIMletslightenthingsup)
>when i was five i used to see my mother with sanitary towels so to be grown up, i stuck a panty liner to the crotch of my jeans. ... from the outside. Yup.
>I'm really last minute.
>Duran Duran and Tom of the Enemy went to my secondary school/sixth form (he was a prick)

THE END.
WAKE UPPPP.

crystal castles

2009-05-10T14:26:00.000-07:00

'emily!! thank you for sending the photos and congrats on working with patrick wolf, let me know if you ever need guestlist again for photos! take care, speak soon x'

Yessssss, CC.

I've had such shitty timessss the past 6 or so months.
Stuffs lookin' up man.

Shame it'll all be ruined when my zillion hour per day exams begin on tues.

http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s299/Prinkipessa/DSC_0700.jpg

http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s299/Prinkipessa/DSC_0743.jpg

http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s299/Prinkipessa/DSC_0729.jpg

http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s299/Prinkipessa/DSC_0723.jpg

Showing you some of the randomzzzz.

mega mess ahead.

2009-05-09T06:23:00.000-07:00

The next month and a bit is going to be horrifying.
My revised exam timetable came through the post, today and it's a considerable amount worse than most of my friends.
a) because I have chosen demanding subjects
b) because I haven't dropped a subject.

All of my exams, aside from photography which is this monday tuesday and wednesday for six odd hours each day, fall into one week. I'm not sure whether I like that because it all gets over and done with, or whether I wish it was spread out to revise steadily in different subjects as time goes on.
Either way, I'm making myself ill with stress. I have a shocking immune system as it is, I get full blown colds twice a month and before my tonsils got chopped off, I'd have tonsillitis pretty much every month, too. (Yes the pun possibilities are endless; fuck off)

Funnily enough, (and it is funny, because you're all wankers) you lot/twitter/yt/other tools for procrastination are taking the weight off my shoulders a little. Thanks?

In other news, I've been asked to do Patrick Wolf's photography on bank holiday monday on the 25th of this month. I'm never a lucky person, exceptionally good things barely ever happen upon me. So as chuffed as I am, I'm still really shocked at this. Having done Crystal Castles photography last year is going to help me with getting more work, and no doubt, having the Wolfmeister in the bag'll help too.

Last night I went to snobs and got trolleyed. The moment Love will Tear us apart by Joy Division came on, me and my (main) exboyfriend had this weird moment where we felt like..
everything must run it's course. Does that make sense? That song was always sort of.. our song (which is a sign of failure from the offset, clearly) so when it came on we had this strange understanding and nice closure. We just had a crazy dance alone in a full sweaty dancefloor of people. I feel settled now. He was my first exboyfriend, so it's good to finally have that satisfaction and actually move on with happy feelings.

Also, we all put on a bet to see how many cigarettes we could all get off men for free.
The only girl in the group won because she has boobies and drew attention to them by playing with her necklace. Who has my medal?

Sorry for the essay. Off to work, content x

Numerous things.

2009-05-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

Firstly, in keeping with Lex's blog, I'd like to mention my dream. Turn now if, as with Jo Brand, you find dream tellers boring. For some reason, the past couple of months or so, I've had some really huge dreams with everyone in the world in them. Not only that, but I'll wake up, go back to sleep with the intention of carrying the dream on and do so. I also text in my sleep, so if I'm having a dream about someone, I've text them saying something that really makes no sense.

Lex, Pj, me and my boyfriend (who is no longer my boyfriend, in real life) were in Venice for a week visiting some friends and generally chillaxing. When we were on a gondola Pj saw some freaky dead girl in the dark of the water so (makes no sense) Lex pushed him in to save the girl. I brutally hit my boyfriend with that thing the boat people use and he went over the edge. Thats when Lex and I realised the man guiding our gondola was Rod Hull (ask Dom).
We were then in a restaurant (which appeared to be in England so I assume we left the boys to drown in Venice), and Dave, Chris and BenLoka were all playing ukeleles as we ate.

I then went on to dream about eeeeeveryone in my life, but I'm only boring you with the youtube related part.

Next, after talking to peej about relationships, I remembered how much I did enjoy being someones girlfriend. But no, I somehow have really bloked up since some past hits and I like nothing more but the chase. I don't fall in love fast, I don't get how someone can be in love after a couple of months, unless they are in Garden State which is different because she was there when he came off the drugs and began to feel again (L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L) I can't deal with overly thought out dramas, over analysed situations and general theatrical relationships.
I guess I'll try and be less ice queen and be more.. humane as of at-some-point-soon.

Can't waitttt for Scotland and Thibilzzz if i can afford it the week before.

Somehow

2009-05-03T18:16:00.000-07:00

Any time i decide to say something/stand up for myself, everyone'll stop their own crazy loud lives, turn to me and pointedly blame me for everything just because I didn't keep my mouth shut.
It always happen. I'm not tactless, I don't always have to tell you when I think this is unfair.. or when I think that's completely wrong etc. because sometimes biting your tongue is so much easier than facing a potential confrontation. Somehow, the times I decide to say 'Well, yeah hang on a second' are the times that spark some completely irrational mental reaction.
It's ridiculous. People need some balance in mentality. This isn't a passive aggresive stab at anyone, I'm purely so unlucky that this has happened to me numerous amounts of times. Nothing works as well as pouring it all out in writing, non? Mais ouis.

By the way, as I'm watching the Simple life, i want you all to know that I think Paris hilton looks like a knee.

help

2009-05-03T06:20:00.001-07:00

I have about seven thousand dresses
here are three of the potential prom dresses.
Im a fashion student, i'm ALLOWED to be this pathetic.
Help me.

What Sarah said

2009-04-30T11:51:00.000-07:00

And it came to me then that every plan
Is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU
That reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself
That I’ve already taken too much today
As each descending peak on the LCD
Took you a little farther away from me
Away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
In a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend
On a faulty camera in our minds
And I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose
Than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
As the TV entertained itself
‘Cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes ‘round and everyone lift their heads
But I’m thinking of what Sarah said
That love is watching someone die

So who’s gonna watch you die?

Music

2009-04-28T08:52:00.000-07:00

My fathers a musician, my brothers a musician and I'm a musician. I've surrounded myself with music as much as possible in life, and have done shite loads of musical theatre, too. And obviously I've been studying Music Tech at school and College, as well as Music alone.

But, even though I've done some cutesie covers, I've subconsciously tried to avoid showing you lot.. the proper me&music symphony of artistic MESS.
I suppose I'll try to stop that.
It's not nerves, as I perform and gig and record all the time, but because you've never seen me.. performperform, it's like I've yet to lose my virginity to all of you (almost all of you ;] )

Me and the soulmate of mine have lots of plans to release an ep and use his ridiculous connections I'd sacrifice a family member to have. I guess you'll all have musical sex with me then.

Until then, I vow to play some... playful new songs.
maybe.
If theres anything you wanna hear, let me know.
I wrote a new one today, too so maybe that can be our first.
Virginity inference ends now.

fin.

xxx

Greece.

2009-04-27T08:54:00.001-07:00

I went back to college today. I just thought, you know what? This injury is going to be pretty much permanent, obviously not to the extreme that it is now, but it will be. So yeah, walk like you have a stick up your arse, i do anyway, i might as well be kept up on my education while i do it. All the teachers are treating me like a retard too, I got help sitting down today. Excellent.

I get really annoyed when my dad speaks to me on facebook. I've not seen him in over four years now, he still hasn't officially told me that I have twin half brother and sister- clearly not important. Not the twins, Im sure they're important. I kind of wish I saw them when they were in their cute stage but they're probably two and a half now. Jasons come over from Greece for a year and he really makes me miss Greece. I miss the cultureeeeee.

Did you know that in Greece I could walk wherever I wanted to and not feel like I'm going to get raped/attacked/murdered? I miss Thessaloniki & I miss Halkidiki. I miss Zante. I haven't been a resident of Thessaloniki for 10 yrs now. >mental

I obviously miss Cyprus too, but I never lived there so it's different. Cyprus is more of a summer hang out. I see myself turning more and more English by the minute and my family always takes the mick out of me for being such a whiteboy lately.
It's decided.
Come to Greece with me, i'll feed you with such magical things you'd want to pay me to satisfy your stomach and tantalise your tastebuds.

xx

P.s

'Can you help me prove my point, please emily. Isn't Cyprus in Greece?'

what?
no. no its fucking not.

I want a hero

2009-04-26T14:35:00.000-07:00

Hello! I'm lying here, crippled, with college tomorrow and I'm a bit fed up of life. This is when I should be hectic and mental but I've sort of chosen to ignore how much pressure is on me with A levels and universities and half-ex boyfriends and whatnot.

Everything smells like Vicks/cinnamon because of the bodybuilders Tiger balm my mom rubbed on my back. I was just self psycho-analysing (ihateitwhenpeopledothat), and I realise that I'm never going to get married.
I like the chase. being seduced. its funtimes. its relaxed. Therefore I shall have a wedding without the legal binding.

Also, I know I was part of the original old school lot with everyone, and I'm still close to those who matter but I cant help but feel like the in group slightly force themselves away from me. Why would anyone do that? I'm the dogs bollocks.
IF, however, you're not a fan of faux arrogance, i suppose I understand.

The last blog i posted on my last website still remains, I still have dirty dreams about Dave.
Which reminds me, I had a dream about Heavy metal farmer.
A nightmare, rather. I've already alerted Davey. He was in my bedroom, i shant go on.

My mother needs to rub some more of that shit on me, so i'm gone.
be good.

x